It is just over a month since Shiki died and I still cry every day. Not as bad as before; usually just once a day now. K got the sweetest stone in the whole world that we will use to mark the spot where we bury her in the garden. Neither of us is ready to bury her yet.

ashes
in a box
on the mantle
beneath your picture

waiting
to go back to the earth
under a stone
that marks the spot of your final resting place

no life, no body
but i am still not ready to let go
of the box that holds
what is left of you
in this world

A few days ago, our neighbors from across the street randomly brought over a tiny kitten. I fell instantly in love. It is very weird timing since I was planning on never having another cat again and because it is so soon since Shiki died, but it also felt like one of those ‘it was meant to be’ situations. She needed a home and I needed a friend.

I hung out with her the next day and couldn’t really bear to let her go. It was the first time I have been happy during the day since Shiki has been gone. We decided to keep her. I named her Nikkyo (NEE-kee-oh – means ‘second technique’ in Japanese) after my favorite karate move and because she is my second cat.

She sleeps on my lap while I work and licks my head like Shiki used to. It is nice to have a new friend.