Rambling On…

If Architects Had To Work Like Web Designers — 10/23/2005

If Architects Had To Work Like Web Designers

From: Software is too expensive to build cheaply

Dear Mr. Architect:

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Continue reading

Disclosure — 10/16/2005


Me and K went to an aascend meeting on saturday before we left for morro bay. The topic of the meeting was disclosure. It is a topic I often wonder about. I have wondered about it since before I ever heard of asperger’s and was telling people that ‘my brain doesn’t work right’. I still tell them that sometimes. It is nice to finally have a word, but it hasn’t made it any easier to tell people like I thought it would.
Continue reading

Kiss of the Giant Pandas — 10/13/2005
Double Header — 10/12/2005
Quiet Time — 10/08/2005

Quiet Time

It is quiet here. K and B just went out to get a mani/pedi. I have NO work to do! Nothing is broken. Or hacked. Bills are paid. All there is to do is clean up for the party later. And then party 🙂 It is nice to have B here. Shiki is especially happy. I love that last night me, B, and K were all in the living room together, each with our separate laptops, doing our own thing but still enjoying each others company. It is not usually like that with house guests. Usually it takes lots and lots of energy to have them, even if it also very fun. B likes to chill. So does Ali. He will stay here tonight too.

I am less freaked about web hosting today. I think it will be okay to keep my reseller account for another year. That will be plenty of time for everyone’s accounts to expire, and for people to move to a new host. I also would like to host the International Asperger’s Year site (once it is made) for free for a year. Who knows, maybe by then I will be breaking even or (gasp) actually making money. In any case, I would move my own sites to a server with lots of space. I would always like to have enough space to experiment and do some free hosting for family, friends, and other random do-gooders. Actually, my family members are some of my best customers!

It is hard to read the news. So many fucked up things going on all the time. It is kind of strange to be happy in such a situation. But I guess it is better than being a homicidal maniac. I’m not really the homicidal type, but sometimes a person just really wants to kill assholes! There was a horrible earthquake in Pakistan yesterday (which was Saturday there). It was a 7.6 magnitude tremor and over 3000 people in Pakistan, India, and Afghanistan were killed. That doesn’t make me homicidal. Just very sad. On Friday, the Governator signed a bill that bans the sale or rental of extremely violent video games to children. It is hard to understand the big government concern over kids playing games, when that same government is responsible for uncountable amounts of actual extreme violence that happens every day all over the world. What kind of effect does THAT have on children? I think that Jon Stewart should be appointed the US Minister of Prioritization.

Hacked :( — 10/03/2005

Hacked :(

I woke up this morning to an email that my business site was hacked with a malicious javascript that affects (what else?) internet explorer. I removed the code and alerted the hosting company so that they can make sure the entire server is clean. As far as I can tell, everything is ok now, but it totally freaked me out. This is the first time I’ve been hacked in 10 years of using shared servers. Someday when I have money, I will get a dedicated server, or maybe even a server of my own if I can learn linux sysadmin way better than I know it now.

Besides from that big adventure, things are looking up. Me and K got to have a mellow day yesterday for the first time in a very long while. It was SO nice! I have been feeling much better the past few days. The iron and gatorade are definitely doing their job. It is easier to do things now. I appreciate it so much after feeling bad for a while. It is a whole other world. The land of the living. I suppose that if I was to be hacked, it was much better that it happened today rather than last week.

Update: the server is clean and protected. i am happy 🙂

Welcome to my bad mood — 09/30/2005

Welcome to my bad mood

i am tired. how long can one person be tired for?
not sleepy.
worn out. exhausted. useless.
my brain is slow. everything is hard.
i am less anemic. less weak.
but i can’t think
but i can think
i can think good and hard about things for 5 or 10 seconds

i’m tired of this shit
things are too busy
i don’t know how to make them less busy
there is less work now
that is good. even if it doesn’t pay.
think, think for a minute.
don’t get sidetracked.
i can’t. i try and try.
i just type. i don’t even know what the fuck i am typing but i keep on going because it is something to do that will keep my thoughts in a straight line for more than a few seconds.

text edit. i love it. the notepad of the mac. i use it about a billion times as much as word.
maybe safari is no. 1. firefox for web dev toolbar and site checking. text wrangler. love it.

i ignore internet explorer like i shouldn’t. just noticed today that lbnuke is looking kind of funny on it these days. but not so bad. i fixed the one thing that looked really dumb. now the main menu just has much bigger line spacing than on any other browser. stupid ie. i am too tired to design for ie glitches that will hopefully be fixed in next release. at least on my own site. stupid microsoft. i get sick of their shit sometimes. bill gates is an evil genius. i’ll give him that. i appreciate the genius part.

it has been a rough day. hard to leave the house. didn’t get out until late. picked up new glasses. i can see. amazing! i forgot what it was like to see sharp clear letters. maybe things will get better now that the haze is gone. i’m glad i went. sometimes it is good to have contact with other humans. k is very busy these days too. i miss her. october was going to be the quiet month. finally. but not anymore. all weekends are planned. some weeknights too. then come the holidays. and house guests. i am happy to have them. but i need to rest. i don’t know when it will happen. maybe in february?

Quadruples Therapy —

Quadruples Therapy

as k so eloquently put it… me, my partner, my former partner who used to also date my partner, and my former partners new partner, had a double date last night. at therapy. it is 5 years (almost to the day) that we have been trying to restore the peace.

i think maybe it was good. nice to meet the former partners new partner. she was very brave to come. i liked her.

we will all meet out in the real world sometime soon with a planned distraction and a time limit.

maybe it will be okay someday.

did i mention it’s been 5 years?

Auties.org — 09/29/2005


Donna Williams and some other like-minded folks have started a new website called Auties.org.

“Auties.org is a website to promote the entrepreneurial (self employment) skills of people diagnosed on the Autistic Spectrum world-wide and to provide links to Autie-Friendly businesses of various kinds.”

I particularly liked the ‘What is an Autism Spectrum Condition?’ explanation page.

I think this is a great idea and I would like to do my part in spreading the word. Visit the site for more information and links to ‘Autie-Entrepreneurs’ and ‘Autie-Friendly’ business listings.

Bird — 09/28/2005


There is a young mourning dove perched on top of our curtain rod. Kito chased it in. There are feathers everywhere. I am not quite sure how to get it out. The front and back doors are open, and Kito is locked in the bedroom, but the bird is not moving. It looks like it is sleeping. I think I will try to chase it out with my bo. Sorry bird.

As it turns out, the bird is not at all afraid of me or my bo and I can’t bring myself to do anything besides tapping it lightly. This bird obviously knows who it is dealing with. Back to waiting…

At K’s very smart suggestion, I got the bird to perch on my bo, at which point Marley attacked it and it escaped to the mantle. I locked up Marley w/Kito and carried the bird outside. It can fly a little, but i think it may be injured. There is no blood, but it is still on the ground outside. Maybe it is just scared. At last check, it was standing outside in one of our little dirt squares that we like to call a garden.

At next check, the bird is gone. The cats are free. I will vacuum up a million feathers now.