My brain has not been cooperating lately, but thankfully it seems to be taking a turn for the better these past couple of days.
Yesterday was the first day I was feeling good enough to get out of the house since Saturday, not including short trips to the BART station. Went to the library in the morning and helped my friend D move stuff in the afternoon. Amazing how a little fresh air can make everything better. The good company didn’t hurt either 🙂
When my brain is not working, it is very hard to get out of the house because I can not organize and implement the steps needed in order to leave the house. Things that should be happening automatically do not. Instead, it becomes a complex, often insurmountable task.
Steps needed to leave the house:
- Remember that you are going to leave the house
- Stop what you are doing
- Get ready to leave
- Put on jacket, gloves, etc.
- Bring anything that is needed, i.e. backpack, library card
- Don’t get sidetracked
- Don’t start working again because you forgot you were going out
- Think about destination or at least what direction to head out in
- Don’t answer the phone because your client has a “quick question”.
- If you do answer the phone, read the email, etc., do not think “This is easy. I will do it real fast before I leave.” because that will place you back at step 1.
- Don’t get sidetracked
- Say goodbye to cats and walk out the door
Speaking of being sidetracked, I almost forgot the 4 good things.
Good thing #1: K, aka Nikkyo, dings 70!
Congratulations K! We can finally quest together for real. Woo hoo 🙂
Good thing #2:
Renaeden’s repost of The Top Ten Terrific Traits of Autistic People.
Thanks Renaeden!
Good thing #3: FaceBook In Reality
Got a link to this in an email this morning. Cracked me up.
Good thing #4
Did I mention that I got out of the house yesterday? Old news by now. Good thing #4 is that I am going again out as soon as I complete the 10 steps listed above 😀
Yay 4 good things! So glad you got out sweetie! And thanks for the gratz – I love questing w/you! In your post I particularly loved the Terrific Traits and 1, 8, 9. 10 stood out to me the most. As an NT partner of an Aspie (i.e. you), learning about total honesty, no head games and no hidden agendas has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever encountered in a relationship. All of those things were pretty foreign to me in a lot of ways. I still have trouble with the white lies (with others) because my upbringing and to an extent my career have been about being polite, putting on a brave face, making others feel good, putting other people’s feelings above my own, being hopeful in the face of hopelessness, looking for the silver lining and trying to stay positive. I know you and I recently talked about this but one of the most wonderful things (and there are many) of having a relationship with you, an Aspie, is that it has made me so much less fearful about being honest. It has affected me positively in all of my relationships, not just ours, and my work. I have realized I don’t have much to lose and so much more to gain by being honest, and it has forced me and continues to force me to take hard looks at myself, my assumptions and how I go about relating to other people in the world. It has made me feel incredibly secure in our relationship – that I can truly be who I am, say what I think and how I feel – and know that you love me anyway. I feel incredibly lucky to be your partner and your “aspie traits” have only enriched my life in ways I could never have imagined.
Through knowing you and meeting and reading things about and by others on the autistic spectrum I can truly appreciate that the myths about lack of empathy, lack of passion, lack of being able to be in a relationship, are just those – myths. By saying that I don’t mean in any way to diminish or minimize the incredible difficulty that those on the autistic spectrum face when dealing with the general public and the people in their lives. What I mean is that autistic people are just as complex and multilayered as anyone else and to generalize about what “they” are capable of is to truly do a disservice.
thank YOU (from the homeless d =) i really appreciate you taking the time to help me out, and that half hour in which you, the vegetarian, sat with me on the patio of the in’n’out by the oakland coliseum, just chillin’. as i mentioned, it’s weird, two people who have such issues and problems, meaning, inside the head, those two people can sit over food and in sunshine, and even talk casually of what’s going on in the head, really bad stuff, and it’s all so casual, no judgments, just regular people. i like that i can talk about the godawful stuff going in my head, and there’s no hystrionic reaction, cuz you’ve been there yourself, and there aint no point getting into a tizzy about it. it sucks, yeah, but been there, done that, kinda of, with a healthy amount of mutual respect.
that’s the good thing about the bad brains club. =)
again, as i mentioned, if you get stuck in those “need to get out of the house but can’t” moments, i’d totally be up for come rescuing you”, though, as you mentioned, the fact that i work semi-regular m-f hours kinda puts a roadblock in that.
i’ll think of something, though.
Thanks to you for posting the link and thanks to k for the awesome reply. 🙂