Strange Dreams

Frida Kahloseriously strange night. started last night. nightmares. a string of them but i don’t remember most. the last one woke me up and it was horrible. don’t remember most of it just the end. too horrible to write about. wish i could stop thinking about it. at least buster is okay. buster’s our littlest cat for those out of the k&l crazy cat lady loop.

woke up disoriented. me and k went to the sfmoma to see the Frida Kahlo exhibit. it was great of course, but definitely did not help with my grasp of reality. started feeling weird again this evening. hard to tell what is real. i hate that. it scares me. feels like a current of electricity is moving through me. not high voltage like sometimes when i can’t stop moving. lower like a fizzle. everything seems kind of surreal. get confused. playing boggle w/k helped for a little while. haven’t played that in a long time. it was under the bed. watched eureka on tv. strange episode. space time continuum mind mess kind of stuff. strange day to have such extra strange media on. spent a short time in azeroth as well.

so, back to the dream. it freaks me completely out and i wake up. k wakes up and i tell her not to remind me that i had a bad dream if i forgot when i woke up for real. i usually forget. couldn’t forget this one. actually, forgot most of it. just remember the end. maybe stuck in my mind forever. might write about it if i thought it would help, but i don’t think it will and i think it would get stuck in someone else’s mind and that would be very bad.

after boggle tried to read. or maybe that was before, but fiction is also another bad place to be when you are not completely at grips with your grip on reality. no idea if that made any sense. don’t care. just writing to come back. couldn’t sleep. this is night 2 for those following along at home. not last night of the bad dream. had bad dreams anyway, but not as bad. just weird. electricity. freezing but it is not freezing here. was having trouble breathing earlier. not real trouble. the kind like before. real, but not really real. what? see what i mean? finally had to get up. sleep was not happening. hopefully it will eventually come.

wasn’t sure what to do. should i write? apparently so since that is the first thing i started doing. thought about playing but not really the best time to enter yet another world. thought about turning on im to see if maybe tc is awake. still might do that. would be nice to say hi. i think i will do that now. adium. i love adium. just as i suspected. hi tc.

sometimes writing helps find reality again. always a good thing. i think. when i get like this sometimes i have flashbacks to being a kid when this kind of thing used to happen. way more often than it does now. didn’t scare me like it does now. didn’t even know it was a problem. maybe it wasn’t. but now i’m not so sure. as suspected, writing is helping and i believe that I am back in the present moment of the present universe. thank goodness for that. electricity not gone yet. that part might be hormonal. funny how total randomness can occur at the same time each month. but it is not time to think about the actual randomness or non-randomness of randomly non-random things. seriously, this is what i am writing AFTER i have come back to reality? oy.

im-ing w/tc now. that is helping. thanks tc 🙂

tc is going to make an alt on my server, the scryers. that makes me happy. i will meet her there and show her around.

an offsite backup just started. mozy. so many automatic backups i can’t even keep track. i sure do hope they work when i need them. usually they do. almost always i can save something from time machine or daily clone. there have been a few times going in the way back archive machine that have saved my butt with client files.

wordpress 2.6 saves post revisions. have used it a bunch of times already.

backup is done. in game with tc.

that was fun. tc started a little druid and we leveled her to 2. nice to hang w/tc. feel better now. strangely enough going to azeroth landed me back in oakland.

Tawn and Teruna dancing in the road

Tawn and Teruna dancing in the road.

4 thoughts on “Strange Dreams”

  1. You know, that not really real feeling sounds a lot like a sort of trance state. Some people are very suceptible to it, and it may be that you slip into it very easily. What can help is grounding….and it sounds like writing was your grounding in this case. I find touching or hugging a tree really helps me when I’m feeling a bit floaty, myself.

    I’m sorry that you had bad dreams. That sucks.

  2. Thanks spin. I do have a tendency to slip in and out of the world pretty easily. No trees to hug in my house, but writing, chatting w/tc, and playing warcrack seemed to do the trick. Bad dreams stopped a couple of nights later and I am back in the land of the living 🙂

  3. Interesting reading, but I understand how scary it must have been to experience. I think this kind of thing happened to me a lot when I was younger.

    Whenever I pop into your blog, I feel regretful that you and I haven’t become friends — I mean, friends who are in regular contact and hang out together. I know we like each other, but we’re both low on social energy and I think we couldn’t figure out how to make it happen. I know it would help if we had more interests in common, but I’m not a computer person (for lack of a better word) — I mean, I don’t know web design and such. I would probably love WoW, since I am a fantasy geek, but I fear its time-sucking power. 🙂 Anyway, I’m glad you’re doing well.

  4. Hey Rina 🙂 Yeah, it was pretty strange. Not sure why it is scarier now than when I was young, especially considering that it happened way more back then.

    Never too late for hanging out. Let’s go get a beer sometime. I will email you.


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