i am tired. how long can one person be tired for?
not sleepy.
worn out. exhausted. useless.
my brain is slow. everything is hard.
i am less anemic. less weak.
but i can’t think
but i can think
i can think good and hard about things for 5 or 10 seconds

i’m tired of this shit
things are too busy
i don’t know how to make them less busy
there is less work now
that is good. even if it doesn’t pay.
think, think for a minute.
don’t get sidetracked.
i can’t. i try and try.
i just type. i don’t even know what the fuck i am typing but i keep on going because it is something to do that will keep my thoughts in a straight line for more than a few seconds.

text edit. i love it. the notepad of the mac. i use it about a billion times as much as word.
maybe safari is no. 1. firefox for web dev toolbar and site checking. text wrangler. love it.

i ignore internet explorer like i shouldn’t. just noticed today that lbnuke is looking kind of funny on it these days. but not so bad. i fixed the one thing that looked really dumb. now the main menu just has much bigger line spacing than on any other browser. stupid ie. i am too tired to design for ie glitches that will hopefully be fixed in next release. at least on my own site. stupid microsoft. i get sick of their shit sometimes. bill gates is an evil genius. i’ll give him that. i appreciate the genius part.

it has been a rough day. hard to leave the house. didn’t get out until late. picked up new glasses. i can see. amazing! i forgot what it was like to see sharp clear letters. maybe things will get better now that the haze is gone. i’m glad i went. sometimes it is good to have contact with other humans. k is very busy these days too. i miss her. october was going to be the quiet month. finally. but not anymore. all weekends are planned. some weeknights too. then come the holidays. and house guests. i am happy to have them. but i need to rest. i don’t know when it will happen. maybe in february?