Rambling On…

Goodbye Kito — 02/05/2011
Crazy Cat Ladies — 05/30/2007

Crazy Cat Ladies

Me and K are now officially crazy cat ladies. It happened just like last time. The neighbors came over with a stray kitten that was living in the yard next door. They know who the suckers are! The mother cat is Nikkyo’s grandma. We almost resisted this time. We told them we couldn’t do it, but the little fuzzy seed had been planted. K had already fallen in love and could not stop thinking about it. A couple of days later, we had 4 cats. It is almost a year since Shiki died. Nikkyo’s first birthday is in 2 days. Wasn’t it time for a new kitten? Apparently so. This is the last one! Really. Welcome Buster 🙂


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December — 12/13/2006


Red Wave
I dropped my classes. i am very sad about that, but relieved too. It was too much. So much work and trying to deal with meds (or lack of them). I just couldn’t keep up. It is very similar to what has always happened when I’ve tried to do school, but with one major difference. Since we actually learned by doing things, I still know everything I learned and can use it for my work.
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Nikkyo — 07/21/2006


It is just over a month since Shiki died and I still cry every day. Not as bad as before; usually just once a day now. K got the sweetest stone in the whole world that we will use to mark the spot where we bury her in the garden. Neither of us is ready to bury her yet.

in a box
on the mantle
beneath your picture

to go back to the earth
under a stone
that marks the spot of your final resting place

no life, no body
but i am still not ready to let go
of the box that holds
what is left of you
in this world

A few days ago, our neighbors from across the street randomly brought over a tiny kitten. I fell instantly in love. It is very weird timing since I was planning on never having another cat again and because it is so soon since Shiki died, but it also felt like one of those ‘it was meant to be’ situations. She needed a home and I needed a friend.

I hung out with her the next day and couldn’t really bear to let her go. It was the first time I have been happy during the day since Shiki has been gone. We decided to keep her. I named her Nikkyo (NEE-kee-oh – means ‘second technique’ in Japanese) after my favorite karate move and because she is my second cat.

She sleeps on my lap while I work and licks my head like Shiki used to. It is nice to have a new friend.


Shiki — 06/17/2006


sweet bright eyes
closed forever
my baby is gone

a sweet cat that was
my best friend
14 years of days together

she groomed me when i was sad.
she groomed me this morning.
before we put her down.

scratchy tongue licking my head while i cried because i wasn’t ready to let her go.
but it was her time.
20 years is a long time to be a cat.

gone without pain
it is humane
and that keeps me sane
while i feel all this pain

a tiny cat
filled so much space
a giant hole
is in her place

so happy to see her when i get home
but she is not here
and i am lost

Shiki and LB